This picture sums up exactly how I'm feeling knowing that there are less than 25 days before I leave to study abroad on Semester at Sea. While I try to smile when family and friends ask me if I'm ready for this adventure, deep down, I'm panicking. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not VERY excited for this opportunity, but I certainly don't feel ready to embark for these reasons.
1) I just found out I owe Semester at Sea an additional $750 because fuel costs increased. While this charge is unavoidable unless I want to sit in one harbor all semester, I have no idea how I'm going to come up with this money so close to sailing.
2) I don't have my passport. Currently, my passport is being passed around to the Brazilian, Ghanaian, and Russian consulates so I can get my visas. I'm supposed to get my passport back a week before I leave, but that's cutting it way too close for my comfort.
3) I still have a doctor's appointment, travel clinic appointment, and eye appointment to get all my vaccines and medication before being allowed to get on the ship in London. If something happens where I can't make it to these appointments, I'm out of luck!
4) I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to handle getting foreign currency for 15 different countries. I think I'm just going to open a checking account with Charles Schwab and use an ATM card (since they don't charge any international atm fees) but of course, I haven't figured that out yet either.
5) I have to pack for 4 months in just one suitcase and one carry on. Enough said.
6) I'm leaving my family, boyfriend, and friends behind for 115 days. The longest I've been away from my family is 1 month, and the longest I've been away from my boyfriend is a little longer than 2 weeks. And the longest I haven't talked to family and friends is probably one week. I'm going to be gone for 4 months without the use of my phone and VERY limited internet access to stay in contact with everyone I love back home.
However, I'm holding onto the promise God makes in Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." While I probably won't stop panicking until I'm on the ship, it's a comfort to know God will be with me through this entire adventure.
I have never been a fan of hiking (see left picture for proof). I don't like sweating, I don't like bug spray, and I don't like sneakers. I don't like getting muddy, I don't like falling, and I don't like how the estimated hike time is always wrong. I especially don't like taking mile long walks just to get somewhere. I don't understand how some people can enjoy dripping buckets of sweat just for a mountain top view or to stand in awe at a waterfall. Now, I might enjoy taking mile long treks if when I reached the end, I could do something. I would enjoy being able to jump in a waterfall and swim around for a bit, and I would enjoy being able to sled down a mountain in the winter. But sadly, this almost never seems to be allowed. What is allowed is another tortuous hike back down the trail. I mean, the least they can do is provide a shuttle back down! Just kidding. Kind of.
But despite the fact that me and hiking will never understand eachother, I voluntarily decided to go hiking. I volunteered to go hiking at Letchworth State Park on a Saturday, my one free day of the week. It might have been the promise of waterfalls (that I foolishly thought I would be able to go in) or the fact that my boyfriend really wanted to go, but whatever the reason, I had a momentary lapse of judgement, and I was stuck with my decision. Now, once we first got on our trail, I'll admit I started to think I had overreacted on past hikes. Ha. After not too long, the "easy" hike turned into a nightmare. There were about 200 stairs to hike down to get to the waterfall (that I thought I would be able to put my feet in) as well as many little hills. And when I finally got down to the Lower Falls, I was disappointed. The view wasn't that great, and I was certainly not going to be able to wade in the water.
But then I heard a teeny tiny voice in my head (and no, it wasn't my boyfriend) that said something like, "You know I created all of this, don't you?" Oops. Just a second ago, I had thought what a waste of energy this was since I couldn't go in the waterfall and the view wasn't as phenomenal as the park had promised. But after the gentle reminder that my God had created everything around me, the view became much more beautiful. It was like I was seeing everything around me with new eyes. Psalm 95 says, "For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. In his hands are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land." Once God reminded me that He created all of nature, I could begin to appreciate the view. So while I still may not enjoy hiking, I can now understand that sometimes, the view of God's creation can be worth the sweat, sticky bug spray, and suffocating shoes.
